org/fundraising. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. ‘Do you tell me that my disreputable son had the infernal insolence to pass you off as that whoring Frenchwoman’s daughter?’ His answer was in their faces. He felt his heart beat faster and faster—his self-restraint slipping away. It was clear it must be to-morrow. Among the commercial enticements McClintock found a real letter. That is the dreadful truth. If I had known that you were here you should not have been kept waiting for a second. Cecilia’s even though it is far too much money. I throw up work—everything! I just teach in one school, one good school, three days a week. I thought one had only to take it by the throat. She realized more and more the quality of the brink upon which she stood—the dreadful readiness with which in certain moods she might plunge, the unmitigated wrongness and recklessness of such a self-abandonment.
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